Saloon Stakeouts: Painkiller

Just in time for a tropical heatwave and many of the country's best Japanese training-seeking bartenders sweeping into NYC, one of the most exciting bar openings of the year is scheduled for this week, and it just so happens to be tiki-themed. Painkiller, from Dutch Kills' Richie Boccato and Giuseppe Gonzales, has flipped the former Sasha Petraske-owned East Side Company Bar into a bamboo-walled underground lair that feels miles from the city and yet all at once very New York. The bar celebrates Manhattan as "the best island," said Giuseppe, surrounded by images of topless, tan island ladies.

I don't want to give too much away about Painkiller just yet--the Chinatown bar officially opens Thursday night--but I can tell you to expect: fresh-cut fruit, house-made syrups and orgeat,  industrial blenders, a cooler full of shaved ice, grafitti artwork by "Style Wars" legends, and badass light effects. The menu will be of the choose-your-own-adventure variety (simply tell the bartenders how you like your drink) but based on the recipes of Trader Vic's and Don the Beachcomber. Expect incredibly strong drinks and wild garnishes--you've been warned!

Giuseppe said he and Richie got the idea for bar over free hot dogs at Rudy's, the Hell's Kitchen dive, so naturally, Painkiller will have free hot dogs too. Which will surely come in handy after all that frothy tiki-ness with shots of flaming 151.

Painkiller, 49 Essex St.

Saloon Stakeouts: Opening Season

The snow's a-meltin' and the birds are a-flutter--could it be that spring is about to, you know, spring? Considering all of the hot new cocktail bars looking to open in the next month or two, I'd say NYC is going to have quite the warm awakening:

• Dram: On the cusp of "officially" opening after two years of being in the works, this Williamsburg cocktail den from Thomas Chadwick will add to the budding excitement of South 4th Street, where Pies 'n Thighs recently relocated nearby (and just two blocks from Bar Celona). Although the menu will rotate constantly, bartender Nick Jarrett has a stirred drink on the menu called "The Devil's Pocket" (aged rum, Armagnac, Amaro del Capo, and Rainwater Madeira) that I hope to try soon. Dram's also offering a Mai Tai with housemade toasted orgeat. 177 S. 4th St., Brooklyn.
• Painkiller: Dutch Kills' Richard Boccato and Giuseppe Gonzales are mixing scorpion bowls, pina coladas and a more laid-back way of drinking with the gritty style of NYC's Lower East Side--sounds like paradise to me. Keep your eyes peeled for an opening by the end of the month. 49 Essex St.
• Zengo: Richard Sandoval's forthcoming Latin-Asian restaurant, to feature former Elettaria chef/owner Akhtar Nawab as chef de cuisine, will offer a tequila library--I for one am looking forward to getting schooled. Near Grand Central.
• Empire Room: On the ground level of the Empire State Building, this latest gem in the Hospitality Holdings' line of upscale bars is expected to open soon. Look for an Art Deco theme and a cocktail menu by Jonathan "Cocktail Guru" Pogash, president of the USBGNY. 350 5th Ave.
• Lighthouse: From the owners of Macao Trading Co./Employees Only, this Williamsburg restaurant will feature a Mediterranean menu, oyster bar, and pickles--no word on the cocktail plans just yet. Construction is now underway. 145 Borinquen Pl.
• Freemans Upstairs: Last month, Freemans was finally granted approval to move forward with plans for a second bar upstairs. With Star Chefs' Rising Star Mixologist Maxwell Britten behind the stick, this is one Lower East Side addition to keep an eye on. End of Freeman Alley.

Red-hot, fresh-off-the-mill rumors:

• Albert Trummer, owner of Apotheke, is working on opening a new bar in Tribeca.
• A rum-centric bar in Lower Manhattan may be in the works from the owners of Mayahuel.
• A whiskey-centric bar may be coming to Williamsburg soon.
• Sasha Petraske, owner of Milk & Honey and other fine tippling establishments, is working on opening a new jazz and cocktail bar called Hi-Note on 39th St. & Lexington Ave., if the funding comes together.

Dizzy Recap: Absolut Exceptional Experiences

With all of the hubbub [brouhaha? hullabaloo?] reverberating from last week's Repeal Day Ball, I didn't have time to report on the Absolut Exceptional Experiences bash held in NYC earlier this month. Hundreds of [highly attractive, I must say] guests packed into a warehouse event space at 508 W. 37th St. to witness Absolut's launch of its new ad campaign photographed by Ellen Von Unwerth and featuring celebs such as Kate Beckinsale and Zooey Deschanel.

Drinks included Absolut and tonic, the Absolut Citron cosmo, the Absolut bloody mary, and the Absolut Mandarin crush. There was no lack of entertainment, as scantilly-clad ladies danced on stages designed to look like live versions of the new ads while intermittent performances (woman on stilts, for instance) went on throughout the evening.

Giuseppe Gonzalez and Richard Boccato of Dutch Kills were featured at a satellite bar, mixing drinks with Absolut Citron, Mandarin, and Peppar for a sizable crowd. Contemporary Cocktails managed the bar service and staffing, and everyone seemed to be having a blast.

According to The New York Times, Absolut, sold under the umbrella of Pernod Ricard USA, is planning to introduce ads in collaboration with director Spike Jonze next year. Let's hope there's a party for that, too!